An ode to old people in grocery stores… apparently world wide

Dear old people in the grocery stores …. I realize that you have to get your groceries just like the rest of us, but apparently in your advanced years, you seem to have forgotten some basic public space etiquette. Please, let me remind you of a few small details.

1. You seem likely to be retired … why the hell are you going to the grocery store at peak shopping hours for non-retired people? Seriously — there is no need for you to invade en masse on weekends. This is why the senior buses always go on like a Tuesday through Thursday during the day. Keep this in mind.

2. The old people speed contradiction needs to be solved. That is, you walk down the aisles (usually in the middle of the aisle and look put out when someone politely excuses themselves around you) at less than a snail’s pace. Clearly, you are not in a hurry or it’s hard to read/ decide… whatever… the point is you’re freaking slow as you toddle around the store. However, when it comes to the checkout line, you suddenly are in the biggest hurry on the face of the planet.

3. If there are a lot of folks in the store and the check out lines are long, bitching from the back of the line to the person checking out is NOT, I repeat NOT going to get the line moving faster.

4. Just because you’re old, doesn’t mean that you don’t have to wait your turn. So, don’t look all put out when you try to cut in front of me and I politely remind you that you’re behind me. I’m only polite once and it’s only because I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt for being bloody blind or senile to have missed me standing there.

5. You may have lived this long, but you’re really taking undue risks with you life by invading my personal space in the line. In particular, there are two offenses that old people in lines seem to be most likely to commit. The first one is bashing you with their grocery cart while you’re standing waiting in line. This is inexcusable and should get you told off immediately (I particularly like telling people off in German, it’s so much easier to sound all pissed off…and yes, I do mean when I’m in Germany I like that). The second one is standing too close (ewwwww) and then coughing your old person nasty ass cough in my hair. Really????? I’d turn around, but I wouldn’t want to get that sputtering nastiness in my face as you’re like a foot from my head and clearly not covering your mouth.

In short — you’re old, but you’re not excused from being socially appropriate. Remember, we get to pick, run, and regulate your nursing homes…

 

Oh yeah — and if you were actually expecting an ode with its three parts, lyrical nature, and communication of love or affection — you’re out of luck too :)

Darn that verifiable information….

FactsVFox

Number of illegal immigrants falling

Federal taxes are lower than they’ve been in 60 years

America has never been richer (well, at least rich people are richer ;) )

The US spends twice as much on health care but gets worse results than other developed nations

Wall Street crashed the economy in 2008

Roger Ailes was the GOP’s top media strategist

Rally To Restore Sanity…Redux

I know this isn’t exactly news since the Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear was in 2010, but as we close out 2012 in the wake of continued political ‘hyperbole’, fiscal cliff insanity, continued gun violence (and apparently learning nothing from it), and what seems like growing irrational discourse in the US, I thought that I would share my experience and a bunch of photos in the hopes that sarcasm to respond to lunacy mixed with small moments of sincere engagement dominate discourse instead of … well…  what we normally see.

The Rally to Restore Sanity

On September 16, 2010 my partner and I were watching the Daily Show when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert announced the Rally to Restore Sanity &/or March to Keep Fear Alive.

So, with a well-worded memo to our Dean requesting funds to travel (it was an educational opportunity… and my Dean was awesome about this kind of thing) and having to take  four well-behaved college students (i.e., the ‘educational’ experience :) ), and much enthusiasm we headed to DC.

Stewart encouraged everyone to make signs and so I tried to photograph as many as possible while the students interviewed people to find out why they were there, where they were from, and if they’d ever been to a rally before. The majority had not been to a rally before, they were from all over the US — many traveling just for the rally. And while some were only there for the spectacle, the majority also said they felt like it was something that … was more.

It was a funny day, a friendly day, and a day where a couple of hundred thousand people decided that being reasonable probably wasn’t so bad. These are my pictures of the day — the people, the signs, and the costumes that stuck out.

So, this was my day at the Rally to Restore Sanity — I also encourage you to check out the footage from the day, but especially Jon Stewart’s speech — it was a really good summary of what I think lots of people were thinking.

Enjoy the pictures!

New NASA spacesuit looks an awful lot like Buzz Lightyear

Audra:

The substantive changes in the suit (e.g., flexible joints, etc.) seem perfectly sensible, but really? The author is tragically correct — it looks as close to Buzz Lightyear’s suit as I think that it could.

But this really inspires a number of questions…. Is NASA trying to inspire excitement about the space program by appealing to an American ‘pop cultural’ theme? Is NASA full of nerds who need to get a life? Why are we developing suits for deep space exploration anyhow?

Oh yeah and one other thing, rear entry? Really? That’s just a dirty joke waiting to happen.

Originally posted on WTVR.com:

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(WTVR) –   NASA may be taking their next astronaut suit to infinity and beyond. The agency’s newest prototype suit looks a lot like the popular Disney character Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story.

The mostly white suit feature Buzz’s signature color prominently: neon green, and even has a large transparent dome similar to buzz.. It’s designed for deep space exploration, has flexible joints for better ease of movement and has a rear entry point making it easier for astronauts to take it on or off.

The prototype is named Z-1 according to Tested, a website run by Myth Busters stars Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage. The website reports it’s just one of several  prototypes NASA is working on. It could be ready for the field by 2015.

While the Z-1 is now making headlines for its likeness to a popular Disney character, it’s been around for a little…

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