Fuck You, Men’s Rights Activists
This is Fuck You Week, Jezebel’s first annual week of desperate emotional cleansing and unhinged psychic purging.
Fuck you, first of all, for making it nearly impossible for decent men struggling with abusive partners or unfair custody arrangements to get the help they need and deserve. You have forever tainted those issues with your rage-filled, obsessively anti-woman horseshit, to the point where it’s become difficult for any rational, compassionate person to trust a man who claims he’s been screwed over in family court or abused by a female partner, even if he has.
That’s right—I fully understand that those things happen. I fully believe that men in those situations deserve help, and I know they’re generally less likely to ask for it than women are, not to mention less likely to find help there for them when they do go looking. I get how our society’s ridiculously rigid ideas about masculinity mean that men are brought up to believe needing help will make them look weak, especially if it’s a woman who’s terrorizing them. I know those same suffocating standards also encourage men to stifle strong feelings and any nurturing tendencies, which deprives them of the right to experience the full range of human emotions without shame. That completely fucking sucks! You know how I know all that, and why I think it sucks?
BECAUSE I’M A FEMINIST.
That’s the thing, MRAs. By and large, American feminists are really into equality, involved fathers, justice for all, dismantling bullshit gender roles, and helping folks leave dangerous relationships. We would be the natural allies of MRAs, if MRAs were sincerely committed to the causes with which they claim to be chiefly concerned. But no, today’s MRAs—unlike the 1970s movement that earnestly sought to free men, alongside women, from the constraints of gender stereotypes, or the 1980s branch that involved a lot of drum circles and crap poetry—are chiefly concerned with one thing, and one thing only: Putting feminists in their place. Which is in the kitchen at best and in the ground at worst, if you ask these unapologetically misogynistic bags of rot.
So fuck you, MRAs. Fuck you for showing up every time women speak, especially about rape and abuse, and trying to make it all about you. Fuck you for derailing threads about the victimsof Marc Lépine, a man who screamed about his hatred for feminists as he murdered fourteen women and injured many others, because you also hate feminists and want a fucking cookie for not killing anyone. Fuck you for making rape and death threats against young women who dared to protest a speaking engagement by a man who thinks little girls would enjoy being raped by their fathers if it weren’t for society telling them it’s dirty. Fuck you for whining about how unfair it is that women might wonder if you’re a rapist when you approach them out of nowhere, while completely ignoring how unfair it is that women feel the need to be on guard all the time in public. Or that if we relax and behave normally—drinking, dancing, dressing however we want—you will be the first motherfuckers in line to blame us for getting ourselves raped.
Fuck some of you for being so contemptuous of women, you don’t even believe in convicting rapists. Fuck all of you for doing your very best to propagate myths that make it harder for women to be safe—that we’re a bunch of lying temptresses who bang hapless men and file bogus rape charges for the lulz, for instance, or that we get into perfectly even fights with our hardworking, loving husbands, then call the cops and have them arrested because we’re spiteful bitches. Fuck you for blaming women, feminists, the legal system, and men who aren’t misogynistic assholes for your own inability to relate to other human beings in appropriate ways.
Fuck you for pretending your primary goal as a “movement” is anything other than control of women’s lives and bodies. Fuck you for being so delusional about how women behave in the real world, you fell for a parody of your worst nightmare—and lined up to support a guy who told you he’d punched his girlfriend. Fuck you for arguing, presumably straight-faced, that facing consequences for hitting your child is basically the same as being a Jewish person in Nazi Germany.
Fuck you for trying to make “misandry” happen. Your feminist enemies don’t hate men; we only hate men who proudly stand up for the rights of abusers, rapists, and deadbeat dads.
Fortunately, there aren’t very many of you, no matter how hard you try to build a “movement.” The simple fact is, most men don’t beat, rape, or resent caring for their own children, and thus have no need for the kind of support and “activism” you specialize in. The “work” you do guarantees you’ll continue to attract entitled shitbags who hate women, while driving away decent people who thought you might have something interesting to say—right up until they realized what you’re really about.
Finally, here is my reply to every pro-MRA comment that has been or will be left on this thread or any other: Fuck you.